By Jack F.
Jack Flynn has been working on his personal recovery for the last 37 years. He is active in 12 step programs and a participant in Kundalini Yoga for Addiction led by Della McGee. He can be reached at jackf1983recovery@gmail.com
Seven months have gone by since my battle began against heart disease. My issue was to lose weight! The weight I gained was a result of overeating food. Because I was hungry? Maybe, but I believe I was nurturing myself. Food was comforting. How was I ever going to give it up? I wrestled with the choices I had to face.
One evening, while trying to get away from it all, I was surfing the net. I came upon a posting on TicTok, called “Choose your hard.” You can quit drinking, lose your drinking buddies and start a new sober path. Or you can continue to drink and continue down the path to self-destruction.
This posting lit up my awareness of the present moment. I could continue to eat the foods of my choice and battle with the ravages of heart failure. Or I could get serious about learning how to eat a healthy diet.
I thought to myself, “Why can’t I do this?”
My wife was supportive, which made the entire process much easier.
I have been on this path for seven months, and I continue to learn how to eat healthily and live with the discomfort of portion control. Some days I dread it. But I think about choosing my hard. I then remind myself of the path I have chosen and how good I feel by losing 30+ pounds.
“Choosing my hard!” is a difficult choice. Recovery for me has always been messy. There is no easy way. Each path is filled with small battles. But, I win most battles which is why I am here today!
But I lose some of those battles too. Then I quickly fall into the shame and depression cycles we all know too well. Then I remind myself of all the issues that arise from being obese. And I start back on my chosen path again!
Choose Your Hard
- Living a healthy lifestyle is hard
- Staying sober is hard
- Marriage is hard
- Leaving toxic friendships is hard
- Being fat and feeling ill all of the time is hard
- Living and acting out addictive behavior is hard
- Divorce is hard
- Hanging out with toxic friends is hard
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